16 years tomorrow

Sept 2, 1994 --- Good Ole Days , Sandy Springs, Georgia,
watching Ga. Tech vs Arizona football ... huge fight with girl i was with...
walked out with half a glass of beer left on the table...its the only beer i can remember not finishing... 16 years later substance free, sober and still somewhat insane :)

she dropped me off at my apartment in north springs section...
didnt say a word to me on the drive home...turned up the radio so we didnt have to talk...

"in your eyes" by Peter gabriel...figures...

i walked in and started crying in the kitchen...couldnt speak i never felt so alone.
the next morning and most of the afternoon i sat listening to music..
knife in my hand... couldnt take it...

my dad called to ask if i paid my car insurance or something like that.. i forget details...but i know ... i hadnt.
he said you dont sound good you ok...ya dad...just alot on my mind...
i couldnt even talk to my father.

i cut my arm. just a scratch...but that was it...what was i doing?
i called my roomie and said get her quick... i called my doc...
therapist i had seen off and on for a few years...
thankfully he was on the board at Charter Peachford...
i was 3 months from being 23 and off my dads cobra insurance..
i think something in my mind said it was get help now or not at all.

i dont know where that voice came from but i'm glad it was with me that day.

my roomie cut jokes as we drove ...and helped remind me to keep my sense of humor.
Derek, Thank you... i owe you my life in so many ways.

thank you for everyone that's helped me along in 16 years.